Geez, Louise… trying to sit and focus my thoughts to write today and the phone doesn’t stop ringing. Remember that great idea – the DO NOT CALL Registry? To my overseas followers, telemarketers were getting to be such a pain that a law was finally passed so that you could put your number on the Do Not Call List & it would save you from having every dinner interrupted with great deals. This was a great concept except of course there’s exemptions like charities, people you’ve done business with before (including those you’ll never do business with again), researchers (surveys) and of course politicians who thought they were pretty cute and exempted themselves from calling. (Note to political hopefuls: I have my list by the phone, if you annoy me by calling, your name goes on the list of people I won’t be voting for. If you’re stupid enough to call people who registered on the Do Not Call list & think they want to listen to your robocalls , then you’re too stupid to be trusted in any position.
Anyway, registering on the Do Not Call List works well if companies follow the rules but of course who follows rules? One of the latest gimmicks is the caller who “isn’t selling anything”, they’re just wondering if you could answer a few questions. Maybe some are legit but really why would I answer questions about who lives here, how much our income is, or if we own a handgun? You think I’m going to make it that easy for you? Or, there’s the marketing “survey” where they ask you… oh say, 2 questions. 1) Do you have dirty carpeting? 2) Would you like to have clean carpeting? But of course this isn’t about selling you carpet cleaning services, they’re just curious people who must be taking a survey on how clean your house is.
Of course I’ve got caller ID. And believe me when the caller ID says “Private”, “Out of area”, or like this morning a phone number of “1022” I don’t answer, but it’s still an interruption and still very annoying. But this morning was a hoot! I don’t know what’s up with me & electronics.
Weird stuff happens when I’m around them, especially if I’m agitated. Walk by the tv when I’m mad – it goes on. Remember Palm Pilots? Used to fry them all the time. Cut me off in traffic and the CD player goes on. I can’t explain it but I guess something like that happened with this telemarketing chick this morning.
9:26 am – Caller ID: 1022 (yes, that’s all that displayed)
Goes to message: “Hellooooo? Oh HI, John Sol…? This is Joanne on behalf of ??? vacations and I have a special vaca for you and your family. Call me at 888-……(why block your number if you’re going to leave the correct number for me to report you?)
But it gets better…. imagine if you will, a high pitched, heavily accented voice talking at about 2,000 words per minute…It was like listening to those loan commercials where they have to get in all the required ‘fine print’ at the end but don’t want to pay money for extra ad time.
9:38 am – Caller ID: 1022 (Oh, here we go again Joanne)
Goes to message. Now although my number rang & I didn’t answer, my message machine is now recording but dear Joanne obviously has another caller on the line and I can hear that conversation. Crossed wires? I don’t know. As I said, I did not pick up and I can only hear Joanne’s side of the conversation. I can imagine what the poor person on the other end is saying, but of course I’m sitting here listening to all of this on the sidelines, making my own comments as this sales pitch fails. Remember this is all being recorded on my message machine the () comments are my own.
“Helloooo? Ma’am? Is these Dy annn Sol…..?” (First mistake Joanne because I go by my maiden name)
“Ok, since I got you on the line, let me ‘splain these wonderful opportunity I wish to extend to you.” (Is this Ricky Ricardo on the line?)
“Ok, ok, ma’am I understand but….” (Umm, Joanne you’re not talking to Diane, you get that right?)
“Ok, you are not the person I am looking for but….”
“MA’AM!!!!! MA’AM!!! Are you not Dy annn Sol…? OK!!!” (Easy Joanne, you’re getting shrill)
“You are NOT Dy annn so why you not listen to me?” (Maybe because, Joanne your voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard & this isn’t Dy annnnnnnnn!)
“Ma’am I am giving you an opportunity to save 80% on your next vacation!” (Slow it down Joanne, you’re now up to 3,000 words per minute)
“You are not Dy annn, fine! so why you tell me you not interested already? Why you not let me finish – I am not done my speech yet!” (Joanne, honey I don’t think you’re going to close this deal)
“FINE, this is promotion for Dy annnn and you are not Dy annn anyway, but I am offering an 80% savings on your vacation so why you don’t listen?” (Joanne, just be thankful you don’t have Diane on the line)
“Ma’am, so why you don’t give me your name so I may address you properly?”
BLEEEEEP……..To the poor sucker who got my call, I’m sorry but you were probably next on the list anyway.