Chock up another birthday for Niki. Birthday girls get to chose their dinner menu and since she was looking for a quiet family celebration, Niki asked for Lobster Risotto with Apple Crisp (recipe follows) as her birthday “cake”.
Now I’m beginning to think that I should rethink my blog to something like gardening or basket weaving because it seems as if I’ve had one kitchen disaster after another lately. I’m afraid no one’s going to dare try any of my recipes if it means trashing your kitchen but if you can trust me on the ingredients and ignore my execution, the taste is great – just be more careful than I am. And if any of you have suggestions for getting bad juju out of a kitchen, please pass them on. I’m making a garlic clove necklace for when I step into that room but I might need more backup.
I think a big part of the problem is this:
I have a love/hate relationship with my mixer. It’s almost as old as I am and works fine but I think I’m supposed to be ashamed that I don’t have a KitchenAid. In all honesty the problem really hasn’t been the mixer’s fault, it’s been more of what the manufacturer would call “operator error”. The flying mussels incident was definitely my bad for expecting it to be an immersion blender.
If you look at the photo above, you’ll see that one beater is rounded and the other has a squared off bottom. Round on the left, square on the right and all is well. If you’re not paying attention and reverse those beaters, then dump in a pint of whipping cream, set it on high, and walk away then you have the makings for a funnel cloud of whipped cream which, just like a tornado, is totally unpredictable and leaves the bowl splattering whipped cream all over the walls, cabinets, and yourself. It’s pretty amazing to watch – as everyone did! Nope, did not get any photos of that mess and I’m glad the camera was out of range. But the apple crisp was delicious and after trying dozens of recipes, this is “the one” – nice crispy topping with tart apples on the bottom.
The excitement of the flying whipped cream was super fun for Lola but I’ve mentioned before how the sound of ripping paper kind of makes her brain go crazy. Our paper shredder broke years ago and we just don’t have a need to replace it. There’s one wastebasket for paper that she checks every night and handles all of our shredding needs. This is what happens if you don’t beat her outside to grab the newspaper:
Her all time favorite though is birthday and Christmas wrapping. If you’re having a party and it gets boring, I’ll loan you Lola.
The APPLE CRISP that was a birthday cake:
(so fast and easy, no excuse to not make it)
4 Cups Apples
¾ Cup All purpose flour
1Cup Granulated sugar
1 teas Cinnamon
½ teas Salt
½ Cup Softened butter
Layer apple slices into buttered baking dish (8” or 9” square)
In small bowl, combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, & salt
Cut in butter w/pastry cutter or 2 butter knives until mixture is coarse
Sprinkle mixture over top of apples
Bake at 350 for 35-45 minutes.
Love the visual of the cream flying everywhere in the kitchen! I have had a few of those myself, though not exactly the same situation. One of the worst was when I dropped my container of sourdough starter on the floor and the lid popped off as it hit. A fountain of what amounts to flour paste flew all over the front of the cabinets, the floor and me. And I was rushing to get out the door to a meeting. What a mess! And it was a never ending mess – every time I thought I had it clean, I would notice more smears of starter residue somewhere.
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Of course it would happen on your way out the door. Now that had to have been a lot of fun to clean up & I can appreciate how these little gifts just keep on giving – my cat came up to me later that night & started licking whipped cream off my arm that I’d missed.
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Now if you could only lift Lola up to lick off all the whipped cream off your walls. OR. .better yet, just put suctions on Moe’s paws and she can do the Spiderman walk on the walls to lick it off. Don’t feel bad.. I have the same mixer from when I got married and then I got a hand me down 60 yr. old Kitchen Aid mixer. Not a pretty sight.
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I’m not even going to try to lift Lola up, plus she got just about as much reach as I do & as for The Moe…he does have suction cups on his feet – haven’t you seen him clinging to the windows?
I didn’t even know Kitchen Aid’s been around that long – do you like it? I just feel like everyone has one & Niki keeps asking if I want one for Christmas. They’re so expensive.
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they just come in so many pretty colors…also I would like a Kitchen Aid if you needed ideas… : )
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They do have pretty colors & I thought I had all your shopping done. Maybe, someday a trip to Mr. Green’s store with Dad.
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Been there, Done that! It must be physics but it is amazing how it just clings to ceilings and ceiling fans and such. A very happy birthday to your daughter and happy holidays to you and your family. Take care, BAM
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Hey, you mean I’m not alone in this? It is pretty amazing stuff. I thought Lola, The Moe, & I did a pretty good job cleaning everything up but I’m still finding it in odd places.
I’ll pass on the birthday wishes & you enjoy the holidays too.
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My previous mixer, though not the same brand as yours, relied on the same configuration for its beaters — with the same results when not placed correctly. What a mess! You know, I would not have minded paying an extra 25 cents so that they could have marked one of the blades to indicate which blade went on what side.
Loved the Lola video! We must vow never to let your Lola meet my Max. No piece of paper nor sheet of toilet paper would be safe within miles.
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I agree completely with paying a little more to avoid these mishaps but wouldn’t you think they’d make it a little more ‘Diane proof” by maybe not even allowing the wrong blade to go into the wrong slot? I’m going to try to mark them with a sharpie somehow.
Lola is a piece of work & we’ll agree to keep her & Max apart. I’ve got Lola the paper shredder & Moe the Terrorist Cat who shreds my furniture – this place looks like someone went on a rampage.
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I can just imagine you and your kitchen. My beaters don’t stay in if they are not placed in the right hole…boy am I glad for that design feature after knowing what can happen. Hopefully the new year will bring better luck in the kitchen. I’m sure the birthday meal was delicious even without the whipped cream.
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I think a simple change of not allowing the wrong beater to go into the wrongs slot makes a lot of sense. I think I’m going to look up kitchen spells to see if 2012 can be a little less messy. But since I’m hoping to have the entire kitchen gutted in the spring, maybe it will change my luck.
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A new kitchen will definitely get rid of any evil spells that have been lurking in the kitchen.
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Haha, at least I’ll be more careful in it & now I’m thinking “hey why worry about finding the rest of the whipped cream?”
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OK, so you said that you should have 2 “Lolas” instead of just 1?!?! I can NOT imagine! LOL! Oh, well…look on the bright side – you saved so many calories from not eating the whipped cream, you can you more of the apple crisps, right?
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Did I say 2 Lola’s? I might have meant to say 1 Lola & 1 ‘regular’ Berner. But really Susan, look at that face – have you ever seen a happier dog? Wait until Christmas morning when there’s LOTS of paper!
Oh & I don’t think whipped cream has any calories – it’s almost all air.
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I think the whipped cream is ALL air, if you send it flying through the air! Wish I coulda seen it..LOL!
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Wish you were here to help clean it up 🙂 And to entertain Lola too if you ever come up this way, bring lots of crinkly paper – it keeps her from chewing your arms off.
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So…what you are saying is that I should come “armed” in order to play with Lols? LOL!
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On no, not armed but my friend Harry who dog sits her for me & my daughter’s boyfriend all come wearing football padding & cups. She loves company but it just takes her a while to stop bouncing off people – maybe a chest protector would be wise 🙂
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I dont have a food mixer but want one. So I went to look for them and found a KitchenAid – £800. £800? Seriously. You’d have to cook an awful lot of risotto and steaks to get the payback on that.
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Your reaction’s the same as mine & I know the KitchenAid comes with all kinds off attachments (extra cost) but when you look at it, it’s still mashes up potatoes & mixes up cookie batter just like my old Sunbeam mixer ($29 many years ago).
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Yum! I love apple crisp and I actually make a nectarine crisp as my husband’s birthday cake every year. A candle sticks in a crisp just fine, so why not?
I wish I had tips for good kitchen mojo for you; I definitely have my share of kitchen disasters and failures and experiments gone wrong. Like elsewhere, luck seems to ebb and flow in the kitchen — c’est la vie — but tiredness always makes the bad days 10 times more likely, at least for me.
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Nectarine crisp sounds awesome. I agree completely with being too tired sometimes to be safe in the kitchen. That’s usually when I go visit my friends at the ER for stitches.
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I believe mixers have their own life – my most memorable moment is when mine (also definitely not a kitchen aid) started making small jumps – while kneading a dough – towards the edge of the kitchen counter, luckily I have too much fear to leave electronics without adult supervision so disaster was avoided – on the other hand it makes awesome whipped cream! I must try that apple crisp, yumyum!
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Mine does the same thing with bread dough! I cut a piece of that non-skid looking shelf liner to put under it but when that thing gets going, it can still take a walk. Sometimes I think I’M THE ONE who needs adult supervision.
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Or just knead the dough by hand, haha (or wait, how was that no-knead bread again?:D)
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By hand?!!!? No way, that’s one reason I bought the mixer. I’d rather hang on to the mixer.
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?!!? 😀
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Oh my goodness – I would LOVE a dog like that.
Sadly, it’s just not fair when living in an East London flat. Sigh.
Great dog, and GREAT recipe!
Thanks for sharing X
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Thank you. Lola is my 3rd Bernese Mountain dog and although they’re big, they are about the most mellow (lazy) dog you’ll ever find. I have been seeing quite a few of them as apartment dogs in Boston.
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I think Bernese Mountain dogs are one of the most beautiful of all breeds. And I love their temperament. (Not that I know a lot about dogs… but I went to a dog show where my cousin was showing Bernese – and I just fell in love with them!) About your old mixer… I don’t have a standing mixer or anything fancy. I just have a hand-held BUT maybe that’s saved me from a few disasters ’cause I have to stay there with it. I loved your story about the whipped cream !!
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I love Berners so much that Lola is my 3rd & you are right about their temperament – generally easy going but very playful & terrific with kids. The one thing with these dogs though (or any dog who will grow to giant size) is to make sure you don’t encourage behavior that’s cute when they’re puppies, but not so cute when they weigh 100 lbs!
As for the whipped cream, it really was a mess – ceiling, cabinets, lights, floor – but it wasn’t as bad to clean up as the time I drop a full bottle of olive oil, tried to catch it, only to knock it across the counter & down between the stove & cabinet.
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