Easy Barbecue/Crock Pot Ribs & Tough Sales Calls

When I looked out the sidelights to see who was rapping on my door Saturday, I saw a young lady with long curly red hair wearing a white lab coat.  Huh…haven’t been feeling well but would my doctor have sent someone to make a house call?  Maybe the pharmacy was delivering or possibly it was someone from the Macy’s makeup counter.  Unlikely as that would be, I still made the mistake of opening the door – just about 6″ but that was enough.

I had a hard time hearing what the lady in the lab coat was saying since Lola was beside me adding to the conversation and I only caught part of it but when she handed me a scented candle I handed it back and said “no thanks”.  Oh, but wait, the candle was for me and it was free and I found it back in my hands as Curlylocks explained that she was handing them out so people would remember her because people just throw away business cards or flyers.  Then she mentioned that “they” were across the street cleaning my neighbor’s rugs and Judy had suggested that I might be interested in having a rug cleaned for free.  Okay, normally that door would have been shut by now but since my neighbor is selling her house I assumed this was a cleaning service she’d hired and I figured I should at least be polite (then call Judy later).  She got another polite “no thank you” to the rug cleaning and I tried closing the door again but Curlylocks was into super sales mode at this point asking questions that you’re not supposed to be able to say yes or no to…

“Well what kind of floors do you have?”  I’m not interested, thank you.
“It doesn’t have to be a floor, we’ll clean a mattress.”  No THANK YOU.
“You must have hardwood floors – you’d be surprised how much dirt is on them.”  NO (let’s just skip the thank you’s) NOT INTERESTED AT ALL.
“Oh, that’s a really big dog I’ll bet he makes a total mess of your floors.”  Ok, now you’re trash talking my dog…get outta here!  And just as I had the door about 1″ from closing…neeah!  this hand reached in with the fingers waggling and grasping and I heard her yell “I want my candle back!  You didn’t buy anything!”

Hey, what happened to free?  Silly me I didn’t slam her fingers but opened the door enough to pass the candle back which allowed her a few more tries to get in my house.  At that point I gave her 4 minutes to get to her car before I let ‘that big dog’ out.  She moved pretty fast I must say, but she was young.

Naturally a thank you call to Judy was in order.  No sooner did I say “Judy… about your cleaning service you sent over here…”

“WHAT?!??  Wait a minute, that was Kirby vacuum sales and I specifically warned them to not bother the other neighbors because no one would let them in and the only reason why I did was because I’m showing the house tomorrow.  I told them – no way was I buying anything but if they wanted to clean a rug here, go for it BUT don’t expect me to buy anything”.

Now if you’re thinking that letting the Kirby salesperson in your house is worth getting a rug cleaned, let me tell you what happens if you do (as Judy found out).  Curlylocks is just the fast talker who gets the cleaning person in the door.  She then sends in the poor overworked, underpaid & very young sucker who comes in to do the cleaning.  And  this girl is quite the tornado.

1930 - woman with vacuum in

Once the rug was cleaned, Judy tried to get rid of the white tornado but she explained that she’s required to clean until she’s got about 100 discs from all different areas – sofa, chairs, mattress, walls, ceilings…she somehow even managed to produce a dirty filter by vacuuming a sealed hardwood floor claiming that all the dirt was coming from these invisible cracks between the boards.  As she flies from area to area, she leaves the dirty discs as proof that she cleaned and to make you feel guilty about living in such squalor  because you don’t own a Kirby vacuum cleaner.  At one point she had a bunch of discs lined up on Judy’s sofa and told her to sit down (uh…where?) but then said “now do you want to sit on that?!?”  Finally, when you try to boot her out of your house she gets all upset because she has to call her boss to come ‘inspect’ her work.  So you  feel bad for this little speed demon who busted her butt, for nothing and let her call “the boss” although Judy kept warning the cleaner that she was really pressed for time and this had to get wrapped up…but surprisingly the call to “the boss” resulted in Mr. Slick at the door in 28 seconds (obviously sitting in his car around the corner waiting to make that final irresistible sales pitch).

Judy’s very direct “this girl worked her butt off but I’m not buying anything” was met with shame – “do you see the dirt that your vacuum’s not picking up?” to “well you’re selling this house but what about your new house, don’t you want a good vacuum for your new house?”.   If you feel all that is worth having a rug cleaned for free and giving up a fine Saturday afternoon, then go for it but be ready for some tough sales moves AND when you finally close the door behind them, you get to clean up all those filter discs that they conveniently left all around your house where they cleaned.  And, as you pick those filters up, the dust and dirt falls on your rug, sofa, mattress…you know, just as a reminder of what a loser you are for not owning a $1,200 Kirby vacuum.

Look, I don’t mind someone trying to make a living BUT I do not like any salespeople knocking on my door AND if the product is that great, why do you need deceptive (lies) tactics to get into someone’s house?

Obviously if you don’t own a Kirby vacuum cleaner that can suck the paint off your walls and the varnish off your floors, you’re going to want to get busy really double scrubbing your house and you’re not going to have a lot of time to spend in the kitchen.  This recipe was recommended by Niki (who I’m sure was busy scrubbing her apartment) and is so easy to make that your house should be spotless before you sit down to eat.  On Niki’s recommendation I tried the Sweet Baby Ray’s Sauce which was really good but if you’re partial to a different brand or your own sauce, be sure to use whatever you like.

bbq ribs 003

Easy Crock Pot Ribs
(for about 3-5 lbs. baby back ribs)

2    TBL     Paprika
3    TBL     Brown sugar
1/4  Tsp     Cayenne pepper
Salt & Pepper to taste
1/2-1 Bottle of Sweet Baby Rays Barbecue Sauce

– Mix the dry ingredients and rub into both sides of the ribs.

bbq ribs 001

Place ribs into crock pot then pour enough Sweet Baby Ray’s sauce to cover the ribs.  Cover and cook on low for 5-7 hrs.  You can speed things up a little by cooking on high for a while (umm, do not put your crock pot in the oven though-just a little tip for someone who might have done that).  When the ribs are tender & meat is ready to fall off the bone, remove from crock pot, skim any fat from the sauce & cook the sauce in a small pan on the stove at medium until it’s reduced.  You can broil the ribs to crisp them up or put them on the grill then pour the sauce when ready to serve.

24 thoughts on “Easy Barbecue/Crock Pot Ribs & Tough Sales Calls

  1. This looks wonderful. I love ribs and I’ll bet they come out super tender.
    I loved your story about the Kirby vacuum cleaner sales people. We had two guys come to our apartment when we were young – they were finding dirt everywhere. And they DID clean my mattress. I was talked into it – and we had NO money – but my husband was smart and said, “No way!” And he was right. Who needs a vacuum cleaner which (as you said), “Sucks the paint off the walls!” (Gonna “Pin” this baby!!)


    • Thank you Cecile. I understand they’ve got a little technique where they quote a price of about $1,200 & after you pick yourself off the floor they tell you they’ll call their manager who will lower the price to about $900. When you still don’t like that, they tell you what a hard bargain you’re driving & lower it another $100 if you give them your old Hoover. They’ve got more angles & just keep hammering away at you.


  2. I’m gonna give this recipe to my younger person. He’s been making crock pot stuff since he moved to his new apartment. Then I’ll make sure I visit him there. And give Lola a paws up for chasing that Kirby lady away.


    • This is perfect for someone who has an apartment & wants easy meals BUT no rib bones for puppies, especially with Sweet Baby Ray’s sauce on them…a certain pup here had one & spent the night gacking it up.


  3. LOL, funny story Diane. Next time you are greeted by a kirby sales person greet them saying. I am so sorry to hear you failed your high school math exam but we are not interested in your sales. That usually does it for me here in China, but of course I have to say that in Chinese so I am most certain that something gets lost in translation. However they do leave me alone after that. Your ribs looks delicious and I would love some right now.


    • Oh I really wish you would send me an audio of what that might sound like – can you picture the next person who shows up here & I hit ’em with that? I can imagine the one at your place walking away though scratching his head thinking – why did she tell me to take my duck and put it on a bus?
      I think some people should really rethink their career choices.


    • I have a feeling you would have given Curlylocks more than a new outlook on life 🙂
      They just don’t let up & no matter what you say, the mouth just keeps on going – no wonder Lola was barking like a maniac…dogs hate all that noise.


  4. Judy here.. the impatient customer. It’s all true.. all I can say is that I got a clean oriental rug out of it. Thanks for the support, Diane… and those ribs? I’m trying those. I love easy.


  5. Haha well I see Kirby is just a little crazy and a little desperate my friend – I cannot imagine someone being so annoyingly persistent 😛
    Good thing you enjoyed your victory over the sales lady with this warm and comforting dinner 🙂

    Choc Chip Uru


  6. What a chuckle! This is a nice recipe to try if you don’t have a Kirby and need to be cleaning while the ribs cook themselves in the slow cooker. 🙂


    • Exactly right Karen…to be shamed by a teenager wearing a white lab coat into cleaning my house. Fact is if I had let them in they probably wouldn’t have had enough filters to pick up all the animal hair, dirt & pollen currently residing here.


    • I think if these people figured out how much they actually make per hour, deduct gas expense, they’d do better at a fast food chain working for minimum wage. But, can you believe Judy just shoo’d away an encyclopedia sales person this past week? WHO buys encyclopedias these days?


  7. That’s a great story, Diane! Thank you for the laughs once again. I have memories of the Kirby vacuum salespeople in our neighborhood as a child. Another tactic they used was to show the kids how neat the vacuum was (almost like a new toy), which then got the cuties to beg their mom for one with bribes like “I’ll vacuum every day for no allowance!” This was the scene at my best friend’s house next door, and her mom gave in and bought it. As you can imagine, it soon became the old toy in the closet.


    • Wow, I never knew anyone who actually bought one but using the kids, that’s quite the manuever. When I was a kid most moms, including my mother didn’t drive or have a car so door to door sales were a little more acceptable. I can remember my mother commenting that the Fuller Brush salesman was overdue. She loved those products – but of course they were a lot cheaper than a Kirby vac!


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