Just Trying to Buy Some Honey

All I wanted to do was go buy a jar of local honey.

I really haven’t been doing much ‘real’ cooking these past couple of weeks because I’ve been trying to finalize the last items for the kitchen remodeling job and pretty much everything that could break, broke.  Although my kitchen designer has everything under control and ready to start at the beginning of October, I still have to find a bathroom vanity that I can have a soapstone sink dropped into.  I didn’t think that would be so hard, except most places sell the vanities with the top and sink already installed and I’m looking for a funky, cottage style cabinet that the fabricator can then make a sink to fit.

Then there’s all the men showing up at my house.  The new neighbors have got to be wondering if I’m running a bordello here because I’ve got a new guy at my door every few hours.  Let’s see, first the septic pump guy – had to wait for him.  Then one chilly morning I found that the oil burner didn’t want to kick on so that meant hanging around waiting for another guy to show up to fix that.  I was trying to get a couple different quotes from tile guys for the floors so that was another 2 guys at my door on different days.  Then I had to wait for an electrician to come take a look at our wiring to get a quote for a generator that we’ll be putting in (after 5 days without power last year we decided we’re too old for roughing it).  Oh, and when the oil burner guy showed up we noticed that the 100 gallon hot water tank was leaking all over the basement floor…can we get another guy out here to take a look at that?  There was a lot of car shuffling too since my daughter’s car had a problem and we swapped cars around.  As soon as her car was fixed, my husband’s car broke down so he needed some rides.

So, as I said, I just wanted to go out and buy a jar of honey to make this super easy honey chicken dish.

No problem – Lola and I hopped in the car for what should have been an uneventful run to a local farm for a jar of honey.  It was a glorious day and Lola was all happy ass about finally getting out until I had to slam on my brakes, just about putting her through the back seat.  You see, I was driving on this narrow back road when Granny came flying down a side street, not bothering to stop, and came careening into the road in front of me.  No, she was not driving a car because I’m guessing her kids took the keys away.  They must have forgotten to lock up the golf cart she was driving which had a metal cage on the front and looked something like this:

Buggies Unlimited Golf Cart Forum • View topic - Dune Buggy Style Top/

She had her little white lap dog beside her and did manage to stop her buggy just in front of my car but she was clearly upset that I slowed her down because she started cussing me out – I was a crazy driver and should watch where I(she) was going.  I would have just smiled and said “oh the poor dear” until she started swinging her croquet mallet at my car.  Yes, let me recap:

– Granny on a golf cart racing onto a through street
– white lap dog
– croquet mallet
– mouth like a drunken sailor

You just can’t make this stuff up and I can verify that at least I was sober.  Rather than risk getting my headlights bashed in, I decided to forego the “poor dear” stuff & shifted into first gear getting around her as fast as I could.

I’m not sure if her kids thinks she’s safer in the golf cart or if they just didn’t think she’d grab it to make an escape, but they really should lock up everything with wheels.  I’m not sure where she was going or what her hurry was…maybe she was late for bingo or maybe she was off to meet these gentlemen:

In any case I had to get out of there and after Lola righted herself in the backseat doing the doggie head cocking thing – left…right…what the???? we got the damn honey and we had a very tasty dinner while I was able to entertain my husband with a much more interesting story than what the electrician had to say.



–  Pound skinless chicken breasts until very thin, then let sit for a bit in milk
–  Coat each chicken cutlet with breadcrumbs
–  Mix honey and water to taste:  I used about 3 TBL of honey to 6 TBL of water
–  In large skillet, brown cutlets over medium heat until lightly brown on one side
–  Flip each cutlet to brown the other side & spoon honey/water over the chicken, let simmer until lightly browned and just cooked through.

26 thoughts on “Just Trying to Buy Some Honey

    • Oh Sarah, my husband & I are just looking around now to see what hasn’t broken down. I have a theory that there is some kind of mechanical flu bug going around and it’s jumped species from cars to water heaters to oil burners.


  1. It’s a good thing you ran across that lady before you bought the honey. Otherwise you would have had to make shake and bake. Oh, and can I come over and share the leftovers with Lola?


    • Bongo, buddy, I’ve been wondering where you’ve been & then I just clicked over to see what was up with you & realized that somehow I got dropped from your blog – don’t worry, I’ve clicked again to get back in the loop with you.
      Good point on the sequence of running down little old ladies & buying honey – now that could have been a very messy situation. What leftovers?


  2. Haha love the column…but I guess you decided to keep this between her and you? Didn’t see it on the police report, although I did see they were called out for a “male stuck in a reclining chair”.


    • OMG! Male stuck in reclining chair? That could have been the guy who was out here for the oil burner – he took 1 of my big white buckets to sit on & had it right side up. I was wondering if I’d be pulling a bucket off his butt when he was done. “The incident” would have been in the Northboro police blotter – Howard St & Kimberly Lane. I notice they just repaved Kimberly and it looks very slick & slippery so I hope Granny’s got her snow tires on the buggy.


  3. Diane, my friend. I would have put Lola right on top of you to scare the crap out of the granma. Her bark is enough to back anyone up. I can’t believe it. Oh and believe me, once you start to examine things you want to change in the house.. it all starts to go. I know this first hand. One word… “CHACHING”! Honey Chicken makes it all better though. Miss ya.


    • Well Judy, I figured Granny gets out a lot & probably has dogs come out barking at her which explains the croquet mallet, but I have a feeling she wouldn’t think twice about smashing my headlights out.
      The problem’s been the a lot of the things we’ve had to fork over money for are really boring things – do I want a new water heater? No! Septic, ok got to have that pumped once a year & I will admit I’ll be very happy the first storm if we lose power & we’ve got a generator sitting there. Car problems are the ones that really stink – they’re supposed to just work.
      And yes, a little honey chicken did hit the spot.


  4. Oh no Diane, what a time you have been having lately. I would love to be able to come and enjoy a couple of glasses of wine with you to calm your nerves. I shall just have to do it remotely for now.
    Have you tried thrift stores and the like for a basin vanity? Just a thought.
    Have a beautiful day friend and please watch out for those out of control golf cart grannies.
    🙂 Mandy xo


    • I guess things just all seem to break at the same time but I’m so glad that they’re breaking before the snow flies & winter sets in that’s for sure.
      You read my mind for the vanity. I spent all weekend going around to antique stores & visiting this great place called Home Goods that has odds & ends of tables/chests/etc thinking to take the top off & set a soapstone sink in there. Unfortunately if I only had about 6″ more space I’d be all set. Most of the great things I’m finding are too narrow to drop a sink in (I’m thinking a nice deep farmers sink) or if they’re deep (from the wall) enough, they tend to be just a little too wide to fit. I’ve been to thousands of sites online & I’ve found some that I like but a lot of them come with a sink that I don’t care for. I just found a site though of a woman up in Maine who customizes cabinetry & I’m going to get in touch w/her to see if she could customize something for me. I love, love, love some at Pottery Barn but again, size is becoming a bit of a problem.
      Let’s raise a glass for a quiet but calm week – cheers Mandy!


      • Oh how exciting that you found somebody who can custom build something for you – perfect! Can’t wait to hear more about this lady.
        Cheers to the quiet and calm week Diane. 🙂 xo


    • Agree completely on all that – if I’ve got to wait around the house for one guy I might as well wait around for 2. I’ve got a man in my basement right now – that would be the one putting in the new water heater.
      I am getting excited about the kitchen but just saw the schedule & I’ve got to get moving to pack up everything in my cabinets. Do you know how much I’ve collected in 23 years? Answer is – a lot of junk!


  5. When I visit Michigan, I drive in fear of some Old Timer pulling out in front of me while I’m going 55 mph and they’re going 25. When I see them pulling up to the highway, unless I see them look my way, I hit the brakes. And just like your golf cart driving Nanny, they’ll curse me, apparently for having the audacity for driving on their highway. (&*^&^%^@#)
    Maybe I should make your honey chicken when I get home the next time it happens. It sounds delicious and it certainly couldn’t hurt. 🙂


    • As Mary Poppins says “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down”. I hate to complain about ‘elderly’ drivers because I guess I’m creeping up into that category but seriously, there are some out there who are totally oblivious to anyone else around them. My daughter has already made a note to not buy me a golf cart.


  6. Just remember this story so ONE DAY, people will tell stories about you / us this way!! LOL! Except, I don’t have a golf cart…that’s such a grand idea!! And where does one buy a croquet mallet these days?…Lola must get a lot of laughs on your outings together..wonder what she tells her dogfriends….?


    • You know I’ve read a lot about these communities where people just buzz around on their carts everywhere. I have a feeling this woman probably terrorizes all the kids & dogs in her neighborhood, hence the mallet. I’ve got an entire set of croquet mallets in the basement & I’ll save one for you.
      Lola loves her car adventures – there’s always something happening.


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